There are many techniques, exercises…and even devices, aids, and drugs…to help you last longer in the bedroom. However, in most cases, the main reason most guys don’t last long is due to what’s going on in their minds, not their bodies.
Another common reason for not being able to last long is conditioning.
For years, even decades, most men have trained their bodies and minds to help them reach the climax point quickly. And, while there are lots of ways to address the “finishing to early” problem, many of the available solutions take time and patience to put into effect, and to finally be able to enjoy the results.
So… in this report, I’d like to share some of the “instant” solutions with you…solutions you can start using today, and see immediate results… How Long Is Too Long If you watch the movies, especially those romantic ones, you’ll start believing that sex should last the entire day, or maybe even the entire weekend.
And, if you ask many women how long sex should last, you may also get similar, romanticized responses as portrayed in the movies. Yet, in reality, even good sex lasts around 30 minutes, give or take another 5-to-10 minutes. And, many women will agree that sex should realistically last about that long.
Of course, that does not mean that you shouldn’t plan for an all-day, or even an all-weekend “hot and passionate” adventure, every now and then. (Yes, just like in the movies.) But, as far as the rest of the sexual encounters is concerned, nobody wants every single session to last longer than 30 to 40 minutes.
Not even women, if they’re being completely honest. (They do have other things to do, you know?) So, for starters, let the above realization sink in and relieve some of the “performance pressure” from your mind.
Next, let’s go over some of the “instant” and quick-fix solutions to lasting longer in the bedroom. (That is, if you’d rather not have to resort to pill-popping.)
Let Her Take Charge
Certain sexual positions can help you to last longer in the bedroom simply because the penis is not being stimulated as much. Obviously, less direct penis stimulation would result in longer performance time, for you. One of the best positions for this purpose is when the woman is on top, in the sitting or straddling
position.
This one works best if you are laying down flat, versus sitting on a chair or the edge of the bed. She can be sitting on top of you. And, of course, you’ll want to ask her to go slowly when she’s on top. Because vigorous hard-and-fast thrusting will naturally create a lot more friction…and it will also turn your mind on much more…both of which can cause you to climax much sooner.
It can also help if you aren’t looking directly at her the entire time. That way, she can be less self-conscious and let go and be able to enjoy herself a lot more (which would come in handy for you, later on.) Feel free to gently run your palms up and down her body, grab and caress her breasts, and so on… to keep the interaction alive, even if your eyes are closed at times.
Ladies First
This one is a no-brainer, really. Yet, for some reason, men either forget about it in the heat of passion, or they simply ignore it. The easiest “instant fix” to lasting longer is to focus on her – and let her finish first. Don’t rush this one. And, especially don’t rush her.
That’s a common mistake most guys make. Give her body – and her – lots of attention. Get her warmed up and purring, with lots of attention and foreplay. And… keep her guessing…keep her on her toes…That means, instead of starting at the top (kissing her lips) and gradually moving down – in a straight and predictable line, move around a bit.
Move back and forth, between different hot spots on her body, so she’s not expecting your every move. (If she’s able to see what’s coming next, it will get boring for her. It will also resemble exactly what every other guy has done for her. So, be different.) The important thing here is, by focusing on giving her pleasure first, it takes the pressure off of you…especially if you have a tendency to climax too quickly.
That absence of mental pressure will automatically allow your mind (and body) to last longer, without your trying to do so. Finally, and most importantly… do not make it your unfaltering mission to give her an orgasm. As mentioned above, don’t rush it – and don’t rush her…unless she clearly wants you to.
If your main focus is on getting her to climax, she will sense it very easily. And, it will put unnecessary pressure on her to “get there.” That will only make it harder for her to have an orgasm. So, just enjoy her body – and her presence.
When you are relaxed, she will be able to relax as well.
And, that will help both of you to enjoy the experience… and the happy endings that naturally follow. Of course, after she has enjoyed at least one explosion of pleasure, it won’t matter how long it takes you to get to yours. Get Your Mind Off It No, I’m not going to ask you to think about baseball or somebody undesirable, in hopes of delaying your orgasm. (But, if that stuff works for you, hey, feel free to use it.)
As mentioned towards the beginning of the report, and touched on in the previous section, your mind has a lot to do with your finishing too early. Obviously, most men have trained their minds (during their ‘solo’ runs) to climax quickly.
Interestingly, thinking about not having an orgasm is just as effective, in getting you to climax quickly, as is thinking about having one.
So, whether you’re bombarding your mind with highly erotic images, or you’re focusing on (read: forcing yourself to) delay your orgasm, the result will often be the same: you will climax quickly. It’s like telling your mind to not think of a big, red stop sign. You mind still has to start by focusing on the big, red stop sign.
So… the solution is to not think (or worry) about your orgasm at all.
Instead, focus on what’s going on right now – in front of you. Focus on the present moment. Primarily, that would include focusing on her and on all the little pleasures you and she are sharing with each other… whatever that may be at any given moment…whether it’s kissing her lips and feeling hers against yours, feeling her body rubbing against yours, or whatever is happening at that moment.
Continue to focus on what’s right in front of you – as each moment unfolds. And, you will find that your mind starts to relax…it stops thinking, worrying, or even fearing about climaxing too early. Doing the above will also help you to experience pleasure all over your body, instead of intensifying it only around your genital area. And, that’s a giant plus in helping you to last much longer.
Encore Performance
The next “quick fix” solution to lasting longer in bed is to simply ignore the early finish (or even arrange a planned execution, beforehand.) In other words, you can just enjoy your time with your partner. And if you happen to climax too early, simply shrug it off and get back to focusing on her, and on giving her more pleasure. (If you make a big deal out of climaxing too soon, she will too.)
Also, she won’t mind your coming too early, unless you immediately roll over and pass out. So, if you do happen to finish early, no problem. Now, start focusing on her, and help her get close to reaching the climax point…or even finishing.
And you may often find that by focusing on her for a while, you will become ready again – for a second round.
Remember, don’t try to force yourself to get ready for another round. Just enjoy your time with her, and allow your body to do what it does, naturally. (Get your mind, and mental pressure, out of the equation.) By the way, if you do find yourself becoming ready for an encore performance, you may also realize that you will usually last much longer on the second round.
As touched on earlier, some guys also tend to use the “planned execution.” That is, they decide to masturbate (privately) within 30 minutes of having sex with a partner, i.e. they purposely get the “finishing too quickly” event out of the way, before getting together with their partner. If you decide to go that route, and find that it works for you, that’s just fine too.
Press the Pause Button Another quick and easy way to slow things down a bit, if you feel an explosion about to happen, is to stop for a moment and press just below the head of your penis. You can use two fingers in a clamping motion (one on top and one below) to squeeze this area, mainly the part on the underside of your penis.
Doing the above technique can slow down the blood pumping into your penis and can help to temporarily delay your release. When you feel things slowing down, you can get back to doing what you were…and buy yourself some additional minutes. Of course, if you decide to use this technique again, when you feel another build up happening, you can. That should give you a few more minutes, or maybe more.
Extend Your Finish Line
Here’s a bonus tip which isn’t an “instant” fix like the ones shared above, but it can be very helpful for you to become aware of. As touched on earlier, finishing early is often due to what’s going on in your mind…mainly because most men have “trained” their own minds and bodies to get there faster – without
realizing what the overall consequences would be (like, when they’re with a partner.)
The good news is you can retrain your body (and mind) to slow down and not rush to the finish line. From here on out, if you find yourself masturbating, first of all become aware of your automatic tendency to want to finish quickly.
And, also become aware of where your default “finish line” is, i.e. how long it currently takes you to finish.
Next, purposely slow yourself down. Take your time and make the event last for as long as you can, instead of rushing to finish. Try to add up to five more minutes to your time. And, if you find yourself coming close to climaxing, back off…stop, and slow things down as close to the main event as possible. (If you’re not able to, try again next time, and stop a second or two sooner than the previous time.)
So, as you start to get close to climaxing, stop and give your body a short break… and take some long, deep breaths to calm things down a bit. Then, start over and get back up as close to the finish line as possible. Try to repeat the above process up to three times, if you can. With practice, you may be able to add another 10 to 15 minutes to your performance time.
Then, when you’re with a partner, you can use the same technique of slowing down or stopping for a moment, and taking a few deep breaths in, before continuing. And, yes, you can even repeat the process a few times, when you’re with a partner, just as you practiced on your own.
The most important thing for you to realize here is, finishing too early is not that big of a deal. It happens to many men, including the so-called “stallions.”
When you understand that, the mental shift in your mind alone will often help to have it occur less frequently for you… or it may even stop happening completely.
And, if it does happen, I’ve given you a number of “instant” ways above, to improve your performance time, as well as turn any unforeseen incidents to your advantage.
